Don't Look For Purpose. Let It Find You.

Updated: Apr 5

Are you searching for purpose in your life? If you do it is because something is missing. Not purpose - balance.

You might be someone who has been trying, for a long time, to figure out what you want to do with your life.

You might be someone who might be stuck in a job that no longer satisfies you and you think somewhere down the line you must have taken the wrong turn.

Or you might be someone who has been trying to maintain a fancy lifestyle yet you’re not passionate about what you do.

You might be bored and you think - there must be more to life than this!

Yet you struggle to find an answer.

But shouldn’t we be looking for what is causing the conflict, as oppose to finding a solution?

The cause might be lying behind our social systems and its impact on how we choose to lead our lives. The ways in which we settle in as a part of the society, bearing a responsibility that is weighing us down.

Alongside the efforts to play our roles as citizens and on an attempt to fit in, many of us loose the ability to tune in with ourselves and tap into our intuition.

Intuition is a powerful tool, a navigation system that direct us flawlessly through life. If we loose the ability to read the messages we go adrift. And this happens regardless your career path or which stage in life you happen to be in.

But why are we loosing touch with our intuition? And what are the consequences?

The straight answer is that we are too busy. And we are so busy, we don’t even notice this is happening. We live too absorbed in matters that mostly cause us stress, worry, debt, anxiety and illness.

People are getting disconnected. For various reasons. We get distracted by materialism or money. The influence of what others want for us, our environment, toxic relationships, overworking, stress and fatigue. Lack of guidance, lack of confidence or self-worth, a misleading ego, or just plain fear of not being enough.

Consequently, once things don’t go according to plan, not only we tend to conform but we also become uncritical and aim randomly to that which we hope will satisfy us.

Either because we think it’s the best we’ll ever get, or, we can’t actually do better. Or perhaps there are no other viable options. We settle for that we think is enough. Except that it won’t be enough.

In time, whether we are financially secure or not, our motivation fades and we become sluggish, unappreciative, tired, and frustrated. The routine eats away our joy and we become unhappy. Sometimes ill.

Unhappy, we drag ourselves day by day, anticipating the weekends, the holidays. Succumbing to the Sundays blues, we resent work, we have no patience for those around us, we become anxious and worse, we punish ourselves by remain exactly where we are.

Often we sacrifice ourselves in the name of others, in the name of security, a relationship, comfort, but we confuse these with purpose, or think of it as fate.

Those are valid quests but on its own it doesn’t translate to harmony, happiness or inner peace. And there are other options if you are brave enough to consider them.

Put yourself in a place of truth. We must work out who we are, understand our nature, our faults and embrace our imperfections. Must be gentle with our views, our reasoning and our history.

We must love and accept ourselves as well as where we are right now. By not doing so we ignore and disrespect our boundaries, and we force upon ourselves situations or people we’d rather not experience.

We let ourselves be drained of energy, joy and health. We let ourselves be pinned down, loose faith, vision and courage.

And in a final act of despair, we reach for the things that can compensate the void, that numb us, camouflaging the situation, distracting us from it. We search for instant gratification.

That which makes the rest justifiable. A sad pastiche of life we’ve reconciled with, seeing the world through the eyes of a wooden boy as opposed to a real one.

Instant gratification as been working as a safety net. We don’t have what we want but we pretend we do. The scary part being that often we don’t even realise we are fooling ourselves.

Deluded we play, putting in all efforts to make it real and worthwhile. It is not a judgement. We must find what makes us smile, that what give us strength, hope, or simply comfort. Most of the times it’s what we know best.

We need comfort and joy in our lives but looking for it in external factors doesn’t solve our inner conflicts or lets us evolve. Isn’t it then a little pointless?

Why live if not to learn better. Why stay stagnant, suffering, when we can expand our notions and the ways in which we can live in this planet? We need to get out of our comfort zone more.

We no longer wake up and think ‘what do I feel like doing today?’ And we are not giving ourselves permission to honour those feelings.

I have had several jobs throughout my life. I studied photography, film and video as well as acting and a couple of languages. I worked as library assistant, a new business agent, a project and studio manager, an events coordinator, a receptionist, a film producer, an editor and photographer’s assistant, a teacher, a waitress and a personal assistant for spinal chord injured people.

Most of these jobs were performed in a busy and fast paced city, where I lived for several years, in London.

These experiences have been a part of a journey, a part of my foundation as I developed into an adult. More importantly, it has been a personal search for prosperity and security, supposedly doing what I loved.

As time went by I felt I wasn’t cut out for certain roles and I definitely disliked routines. Life in the city was frantic, entertaining but also harsh. There was always a sense of ‘not doing enough’ although I spent my days mostly working. As everybody else.

And even though I enjoyed doing these jobs I kept on feeling I hadn’t yet come across with an occupation that fully fulfilled me. I thought to myself - I must be destined for something else.

Later I realised this wasn’t really the case. I was simply unbalanced, physically, emotionally and spiritually. My environment had made me tiresome but kept feeding my ego.

I became disconnected from my essence, my nature, which in turn created a misconception in the way I discerned aspects of my life and myself.

I was focused in what my ego insisted me having whilst ignoring messages my body was sending to make me face the undesirable fact – what I was experiencing wasn’t what I wanted for myself. I had to make a change.

As I started eventually spending more and more time in nature, in my case a true sanctuary for healing, I realised what I was actually looking for.

It wasn’t a purpose but rather a reconnection to myself and the physical world in its natural form.

I was looking for a space where I would allow myself to live intuitively, respecting my wishes without the pressing influence of external factors.

I wanted to worry less about the future and live happier in the present. I wanted to stop and be free to contemplate beauty around me.

I wanted a quieter lifestyle and that was tough to admit.

Most people suffer in silence, nullifying themselves, so they don’t go against deeply rooted beliefs implanted by society, family or education. It is too hard to contest what’s been under our skin for most of our existence.

Nonetheless once we step out of this spiral we are able to re-evaluate most things we’ve taken as absolute truths; about the world, society and about ourselves.

When we actively listen everything changes. Naturally. We become more alert, more conscious, more respectful, more patient, more graceful.

We tune in with our intuition and we go back into balance. And once there, we’re happier, vibrant and full of vitality.

When we think about purpose we realise it is not a straight, static answer. It is rather a combination of things. Things you already experience as if by miracle, things that simply - feel right.

It’s not something you fought for. It simply happened. And you look back and notice that you let yourself be guided to this place with no effort. No one guided you.

You simply chased what made sense to you. You simple searched for what you were curious about. You simply reached for the information that was being given to you, effortlessly. Allowing your inner wisdom to lead the way.

We don’t necessarily need to follow a single path. You can be several things, you can do and practice and learn several things, ideally throughout your life.

Far long are the days where we’d be stuck in a job or career for the entire life. Look past that. So much is out there to be discovered and experienced.

Purpose is a state of mind. A state of being. Immerse yourself in the natural world or whatever allows you to be in a calm state of mind, breath deeply and truly listen to what you want.

There will be an answer. It might not be what you hoped to hear. It might not be the easiest to embrace but this is the starting point of your journey, a journey into the realms of honesty.

People constantly play safe, average, reasonable. But what for if to remain unchanged. Don’t conform. Understand there is indeed more to life.

Challenge your own thinking, see what needs changing, listen to your body and understand that by doing so you rewrite your history by redefining new potential paths.

Once you start responding to your actual needs, you go into balance and everything else falls into place. Everything you do gives you real gratification because it is chosen consciously.

That sensation that something is missing is replaced by a joi de vivre and the certainty that keeps you fulfilled.

You will realise then, you are living your purpose in that you create it continually.

Gratefully, Mariana